Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
His nipple licking is glorious
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