U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
