Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
