Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
