No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
