I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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