Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
