he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
