I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
That accounts for only three of the penises
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
