Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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