so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Slut skills are useful in every country.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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