i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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