Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
