Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize