Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
