it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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