Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
jump out the window naked night went bad
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
