You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
