oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize