We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
