Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
