My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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