her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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