this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
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We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
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And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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