Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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