Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
