i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
