I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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