i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
