yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
