You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
