Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm getting married
To pizza
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
