i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
