I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
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so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
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The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize