im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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