Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Can Purell be used as lube?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
