I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
