new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My penis needs a shock collar
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
