come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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