I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
