i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize