normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
