She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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