I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
