trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i came on her dog
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
