I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Randomize
