GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
