i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
