if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
