Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize