This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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