it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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