some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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