Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
