alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
