How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
