How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize