I want to stick my p in your. b.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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