Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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