Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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