Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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