I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
