So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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